Fictional Conversation between a Husband and a Wife

H was busy attending a meeting and W enters house after a long days work. W cooks every day for both of them. They don’t have a cook because H doesn’t like having one. Ironically H can’t cook either.

Time is 8pm and H is hungry. His plan is to eat out after the meeting.

Strike 1

W: Shall I cook something?

H (in between meeting): What? (sign language)

W: Ven Pongal (don’t know Ven Pongal? Click on Ven Pongal)

H: 👍️

Strike 2

Hungry H: Why is this pongal looking so mushy!

W: May be I added more water. But I like it like this.

H (Lil disappointed as the texture is not appealing): Hmm…

W: Let’s eat in one plate.

H: Sure.

H tastes the food and it tastes so weird.

H: Why is it different? Did you follow the recipe?

W: Ofcourse

H (Tastes again and thinks out aloud): I think there is more Dal.

H checks the recipe.

H: Did you add Dal in 1:4 ratio

W: No I added more Dal.

H: Then why do you have to follow the recipe?

W (now slightly angry): It is good only. I like.

H: But it doesn’t taste like Ven Pongal. Can you please make me an omlette. I can’t eat it.

Loving W who is slightly angry and doesnt want husband to go hungry: Sure

H eats omlette and leaves pongal on plate.

Strike 3

H: Shall we go for a walk?

W: No. Don’t want to.

H: Please

W (reluctantly): Ok

H and W generally go for a walk late at night. H likes to drink cold lemon soda everyday during the night walk (Sounds l’il crazy). W prepares lime juice adds salts and pours it into the soda bottle. They carry it outside for a walk

They are having a normal walk when W gets a call. Starts recounting her day on the phone

W (on Phone): Bla Bla Bla

W (on Phone): Bla Bla Bla

W (on Phone): Bla Bla Bla… I cooked Ven Pongal… Bla Bla Bla

H (who is more intersted in the call than his own life, whispers): Don’t call it ven pongal

W (continues on Phone): Bla Bla Bla

W (continues on Phone): Bla Bla Bla. Ha ha ha…

Hangs up

W (Now angry suddenly): This is why I did not want to come.

H (has forgotten about Ven pongal comment): Why?

W: You never stop complaining. You have to keep ranting for the slightest problem. Don’t you know how tired I am. I have been putting up with long days. I still come back and cook for you. [W is now visibly more angry]. Tomorrow onwards you cook for yourself I will cook for myself….

H doesn’t dare to open his mouth. He has stopped listening midway. He knows the summary of the rest of the conversation and doesn’t think it is necessary to know more details. He maintains silence till things cool down and the thought of not cooking for H fades away.

… Things are now cool and they are having a normal conversation.

H: Bla Bla Bla

W: Bla Bla Bla

H: But if you were tired we could have just gone out.

W: You don’t understand

H (trying to clarify): If you were tired we could have gone out. If you were anyways cooking you could have just maintained the ratio….. (last words before the Big Bang)